that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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