I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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