I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My first STD was from a foam party
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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