idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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