forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
