He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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