Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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