3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
