Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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