Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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