so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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