Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
