Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
