I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
this boner is exhausting
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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