he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
