Need sex. Gaining weight.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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