Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
