My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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