There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He better not be in your backpack
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
