you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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