He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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