come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
that may or may not have been my penis.
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