Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
