Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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