the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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