I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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