Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
