and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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