yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
two words: eviction party
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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