glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
