Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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