Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
