we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
