Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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