She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
