My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
