Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
