apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
