Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
