honey bunches of taint.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize