No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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