You were right. It hurts to walk today.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
