she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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