Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
you never un-have a 4some
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize