I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize