do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
