I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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