threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Everyone says I win the strip club
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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