it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
