I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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