Already got asked if we're dating
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
