Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
