Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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