When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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