i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
