Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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