i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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