yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
