We're like a lot better than the average bears
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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