Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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