3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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