Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
