her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
