i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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