First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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