i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
