bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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