Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
