Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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