She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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