Do you still have your period?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
