is your mom at the bar?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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