Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
