Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
