Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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