this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
