me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
