Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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