I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
